Beg, Borrow, Steal (Or How to be Really, Really Cheap in Tokyo)

Mine Serizawa

Fine dining

Also known as “free sample basket cruising”. A versatile, multi-course option for the cheapo on the go.

Smokes

“I smoke my friends down to the filter”–Tom Waits.
That’s not the sidewalk at Hachiko, that’s like if a cigarette vending machine exploded and scattered free smokes everywhere but nobody noticed except for you. Carpe cigarette, friends.

Language instruction

Word on the street is that English language schools are outsourcing teaching jobs to public trash cans.

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HDTV

OK, imagine you lost the remote and your very extended family is visiting and you’ve installed an indoor driving track and have been looking forward all week to these end-to-end looped ads for Madagascar 3 and a four-speed head massager, and then it’ll be just like you’re watching TV at home.

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Olympic-sized swimming pool

The emperor won’t mind, she said, moments before springing a cheapo-repelling booby trap in the Imperial Moat.

Personal hygiene

A crippling inability to say “no” means that I’ve accumulated enough free tissue packs to furnish a tissue museum. Or to become tissue benefactress to three medium-sized orphanages.



Live music

Standing room only, balcony space available. Train accessibility: optimal.

Air conditioning

The tacit rivalry between the people handing out tissues and those distributing hand fans often reaches a violent midsummer showdown over the question, will wiping the sweat or will fanning at it more effectively enhance the illusion of lowering my core temperature? Cheapos are just happy to get both for free.



Literature

Apparently some people purchase their books before reading, but you shouldn’t believe everything you hear.

Massage

Nothing rivals the human touch like the pummeling action of a massage chair on the fourth floor of a crowded department store. When are they gonna start making these with soothing voice tracks that whisper things like, “Your calves look so good in these plush leg clamps”?

Photo by Sarkin used under a Creative Commons license

Go

Self-explanatory.


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3 Responses to “Beg, Borrow, Steal (Or How to be Really, Really Cheap in Tokyo)”

  1. mrkirkland

    Careful not to forget your speedos with the “Olympic swimming pool”, this poor chap forgot his swimming trunks and was arrested http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/3153619/Naked-tourist-arrested-for-swimming-in-Japanese-moat.html

    Come to think of it you’ll probably be arrested even if you do have swimming trunks on…

  2. mrkirkland

    Careful not to forget your speedos with the “Olympic swimming pool”, this poor chap forgot his swimming trunks and was arrested http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/japan/3153619/Naked-tourist-arrested-for-swimming-in-Japanese-moat.html

    Come to think of it you’ll probably be arrested even if you do have swimming trunks on…

    • bang2tang

      “I’ve never heard of anyone doing such a thing,” an unidentified man at the scene told TV Tokyo. “He must be a bit crazy.”

      LOL


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